I looked at my own cervix.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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