Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
