im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
