I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize