I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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