I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
