Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
