Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
