I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
