The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
