So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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