Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.

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  (703): Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U. http://tfl.nu/bimg
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (460)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (1968) Bad night (753)
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  (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

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  (714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room http://tfl.nu/2egq
  Replies (50) Good night (1624) Bad night (8143)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  are you high?

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  (402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers (1-402): are you high? http://tfl.nu/fjf1
  Replies (36) Good night (12490) Bad night (903)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?

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  (703): You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl? http://tfl.nu/mavc
  Replies (75) Good night (3442) Bad night (7202)
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?

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  (949): Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit? http://tfl.nu/15qi
  Replies (8) Good night (1417) Bad night (562)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..

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  (815): Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won.. http://tfl.nu/wk4z
  Replies (6) Good night (1438) Bad night (414)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.

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  (905): His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines. http://tfl.nu/30ox
  Replies (9) Good night (819) Bad night (1819)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.

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  (480): Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night. http://tfl.nu/4efw
  Replies (13) Good night (753) Bad night (1504)
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  (+88): View more from

  I swear the crows are laughing at me.

  (1+88): View more from

  You my friend are stoned into submission

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  (+88): I swear the crows are laughing at me. (1+88): You my friend are stoned into submission http://tfl.nu/466h
  Replies (8) Good night (1041) Bad night (414)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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  (807): The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome. http://tfl.nu/ll5l
  Replies (1) Good night (1315) Bad night (404)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.

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  (336): He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it. http://tfl.nu/p4ei
  Replies (6) Good night (801) Bad night (909)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

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  (904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j
  Replies (6) Good night (1765) Bad night (793)
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  (619): View more from California

  He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

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  (619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (749)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm honored.

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  (712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (364)

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