Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.

Fav 5 931 1963
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself

Fav 1 975 2878
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

Fav 15 3954 950
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

im so drunk with asians

(1-614): View more from Ohio

where?

(614): View more from Ohio

always

Fav 43 7795 1127
share tweet
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

Fav 33 10872 1348
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

Fav 39 8264 1416
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(731): View more from Tennessee

Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

Fav 8 2919 1137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".

Fav 2 744 499
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.

Fav 0 523 428
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT