Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They have beer where we have blood.