Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.