the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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