i just wanna soil my oats bro
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
