oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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