Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Randomize
