1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Girls should come with a carfax report
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
