Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
