If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
