nut hugger
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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