Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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