I am in a vortex of obligation.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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