But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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