sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
