bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
