Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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