Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize