I love black thongs
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
