Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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