Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
