dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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