planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Im part way to drunk.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
