i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
