Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize