There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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