You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
