mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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