Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
from now on my penis is your penis
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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