Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
