Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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