porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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