come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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