This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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