had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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