i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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