at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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