road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
