I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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