Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
