Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
