my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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