MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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