and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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