I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize