I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
