take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
