I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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