There is no way he is gay with that hair.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
