I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
